


espresso and depresso

by thirtypercentdone



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Coffee Shops, Lesbian Agatha Wellbelove, M/M, a little ooc bc I made them all friends, agatha and baz are best friends because I said so, fiona IS the wine aunt, malcolm is a piece of shit basically, pegatha but blink and you'll miss it, please just let them be happy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:07:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24814315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirtypercentdone/pseuds/thirtypercentdone
Summary: Baz raises an eyebrow, “You didn’t have one before?”“I-...Shut up! I was still on the team! The jacket is symbolic.”“That’s a big word for you.”Simon just shoves his arm, “Fuck off.”OR: An entirely too self-indulgent high school/coffee shop AU with all my favorite tropes.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (This is set after Baz comes out & gets kicked out of his house, it's whack and homophobic but not really the focus of this fic)
> 
> hello gang. I trust we're all re-watching atla and regressing to our middle school selves. May I offer you some fluff in these trying times?

**Wellbeloved: I’m just saying she’s objectively prettier than any boy to ever exist.**

**BazBitch: Respectfully disagree**

**Wellbeloved: Whatever, pick you up in 10.**

**BazBitch: Yep, thanks for the lift again.**

**Wellbeloved: Don’t start with that.**

**\---**

Baz leans against the red-brick wall of Fiona’s apartment complex and considers lighting a cigarette while he waits, but decides against it (Agatha’s been getting on his case about quitting for  _ ages.),  _ instead opting to scroll aimlessly through his phone to pass the time. 

It wasn’t all bad, this new life he’d made for himself. Sometimes he even preferred it. 

_ Sometimes _ . 

Agatha’s pink corvette pulls up in front of him and rolls the window down just enough for him to see her wire-rimmed heart-shaped sunglasses. “Chauffeur for Baz Pitch?”, she shouts from the driver's side, teasing evident in her voice. 

He scoffs and opens the door, sliding into the passenger seat. “Very funny.” 

She shrugs, shuffling through various pop stations before settling on one playing a Taylor Swift song, “I thought so.” 

“So.”, he starts, “Senior year, huh?” 

Agatha practically rolls her eyes, “It’s just another year, Basil. Honestly, I don’t get why you’re so stressed.” 

“College admission boards-” 

She cuts him off, eyes trained on the road but glinting with amusement, “Will love you, even without your father's money. You’ve practically beaten Penelope with hours spent in the library anyway.”

“Don’t let her hear you say that.” 

“Oh I won’t make that mistake again, she’ll take it as a challenge, you know our Penny.”, Agatha quips back, before descending into a comfortable silence, occasionally humming along to the radio. 

_ Our Penny.  _

That, admittedly, had taken some getting used to. When he’d started living with Fiona last year after coming out to his father went catastrophically sideways, his old friends had been a little less than sympathetic. 

He certainly wasn’t expecting the  _ golden trio _ to extend an olive branch, but they had (Well, Penelope and Agatha, anyway) And in a moment of desperation, he’d taken it. 

He and Agatha had quickly become good friends after he’d taken a job at the coffee shop she worked at, bonding over their mutual love of high waisted pants and sugary lattes. 

Penelope had come later, with far too many late nights spent in the library together not to become friends (Maybe  _ comrades _ was a better word to describe their initial relationship, fighting for the top of the class with espresso and textbooks in hand.)

Simon....well. 

He wasn’t actually sure where he stood with Simon these days. With their former constant antagonism reduced to playful jabs and occasional fights. 

It was... _ nice _ . 

Agatha snaps her perfectly manicured fingers in front of his face, “Hello? We’re here. Am I gonna have to drag you out  _ Edge Of Seventeen  _ style? Because I will-” 

“Jesus, I’m coming.” 

Watford was more of a castle than a high school, with ancient stone lining the walls and the biggest library Baz had ever seen outside of  _ Beauty and The Beast.  _ But still, there were lockers and gossip and a cafeteria with questionable daily specials. 

“Oh sweet, we’re on the same floor.”, Agatha says, leaning over his shoulder to see his locker number and class schedule. 

Baz jerks away instinctively, “We always are.”

She rolls her eyes, “Yeah, but last year you were all  _ broody.”  _

“I was not  _ broody _ .” 

Then comes a familiar voice from behind them, “You were definitely broody.”

Agatha practically launches herself into Penelope's arms, causing the other girl to stumble under the weight of her much taller friend. Baz stifles a laugh and Penny shoots him a glare. 

“It’s only been a couple of months.”, She grumbles, still trapped in Agatha’s vice-like grip. 

“Yes, exactly, a couple of  _ months.  _ I practically booked a flight to India to come see you.” 

Penelope flushes a little before clearing her throat and saying, “Now you’re just being dramatic.” 

Agatha just shrugs, pointedly avoiding the knowing look Baz sends her way, which,  _ rude.  _

Agatha finally relents, stepping back and looking over Penelope’s class schedule. 

“Bunce.”, Baz supplies in lieu of a more enthusiastic greeting. He wasn’t going to change their entire dynamic just because he had missed her a little. 

Okay, a  _ lot _ , but he had some self-respect. 

“Pitch.”, she replies, expression warm and open, before she pulls him into possibly the world's most awkward hug. 

She pulls back, eyes scanning him in a way that might make Baz uncomfortable if it were anyone else doing it, “Missed you too.”

Baz rolls his eyes, “Come on, we’re gonna miss first period.”, and drags them to their assigned lockers, Penelope hanging back and waiting for Simon. 

Agatha sets up her mirror and daily planner (The latter of which will never be used) and shoves a few textbooks in. Baz follows suit, Putting up one of those tacky magnetic to-do lists Penelope had made him buy. 

“What do you have?”, Agatha asks. 

He glances at his schedule full of AP courses and copious amounts of extra credit, practically shuddering, “History of Ancient Civilizations. You?” 

Agatha glances at her own timetable, “AP Chem.” 

He groans, “First thing in the morning?” 

She shrugs, “I don’t mind.” 

Agatha had always been crazy good at the sciences, something her mother detested (Mrs. Wellbelove wanted her on a more  _ traditional  _ career path.) (Read: No career, marry rich.)

The bell rings and they part ways. Baz silently scans groups of terrified freshmen for Mordelia’s face and feels a pang of disappointment when he comes up short. He represses it, tells himself he wouldn’t know what to say to her anyway. 

The Ancient Civ class is packed. And naturally, in the front row sits a familiar head of bronze curls.  _ Shit.  _

_ It’s cool, you’re friends now, don’t make it weird.  _

He takes the seat next to Simon. “I didn’t know you were taking this class.” 

“Disappointed?”, Simon raises an eyebrow. 

“Surprised.” 

Simon shrugs, “I’m a surprising guy.” 

_ What is that supposed to mean? _

“I’ll bet. Pay attention.” 

“You started talking to me first!”, Simon shoots back, his voice slightly louder, earning glares from a few surrounding classmates. 

Baz just ignores him and shifts his focus to the front of the room, it's familiar. 

Simon and Baz had a similar class schedule every year at Watford, something that used to annoy both of them to no end. But now it was nice, Baz knew he’d have at least one friendly face in his (admittedly a little intimidating) classes. 

It certainly didn’t help with the whole “Horrible unrequited gay crush” thing though. 

The bell rings and Simon catches his arm before Baz can run off to second period, “Wait, are you coming to the game on Friday?” 

Baz furrows his brow, “There’s football the  _ first week _ of school?” 

Simon tilts his head, “It’s almost adorable how little you know about sports.”

_ Adorable. Fuck. Abort abort abort- _

“Hey! I-” 

“Was on the soccer team, yeah, I know.” 

Baz rolls his eyes, “Whatever. Yes, I’m going. You playing this season? Or are you just their benchwarmer again?” 

Simon scowls, but it’s good-natured, like all of their fighting has been lately, “ _ Yes.  _ They gave me a letterman jacket and everything.” 

Baz raises an eyebrow, “You didn’t have one before?” 

“I-...Shut up! I was still on the team! The jacket is  _ symbolic.”  _

“That’s a big word for you.” 

Simon just shoves his arm, “Fuck off.” 

Baz tries and fails to suppress a stupidly big grin on the way to his next class. repeating a silent mantra of _"Just friends, just friends, JUST FRIENDS"_

_ This is gonna be a long year.  _

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Shut up.”
> 
> “Admit I’m your favorite customer.” 
> 
> Baz looks up from the spilled coffee grounds Agatha left on the counter, “Don’t you have a white horse to ride off into the sunset on or something?” 
> 
> “You know comparing me to a fairy-tale prince really isn’t as insulting as you think it is.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is literally just all the headcanons I like compiled into one fic. Tried to go a little less ooc with this one and make Simon a lil clueless and Baz a lil snarkier, but we'll see. 
> 
> (Almost called this the 'Strawberry Blond' chapter bc I just basically listened to it & wrote this but just to be clear NO ONE is singing music is just playing)

_“I love everybody because I love you-”_

  
  
  


Working at the coffee shop wasn’t all bad. Baz’s boss, Ebb, had a soft spot for her younger employees and gave them all the time off they needed for tests and exam prep, and working with Agatha was surprisingly easy once they had become friends. 

But he wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to this part. 

“Okay! Is that everything for today?”, Baz chirps, customer service voice in full effect, he hears Agatha muffle a laugh from behind him. 

“Not quite, what’s your name?”, Asks the man with an annoyingly long coffee order. 

Baz glances down at the obnoxious name tag pinned to his chest and back at the guy, slowly. “Baz.” 

“What are you doing after your shift, _Baz?”_

Baz decides right then and there that he does not fucking care for the way this guy says his name, but goes for a subtle rejection anyway. “Studying, probably. A lot of AP courses.”

_I’m in high school, fucknut! Leave me alone!_

The man who is now _leaning halfway across the counter_ and holding up the (admittedly small) evening rush, does not take the hint, “Smart, I like that. Could I get your number?” 

Baz, at the tail end of an eight-hour shift, might just slap this guy, unemployment and college fund be damned. 

He didn’t notice Simon standing in line, but he _certainly_ notices when he saunters up to the counter, with an uncharacteristically confident stride and an unidentifiable look on his face and says, “Hey babe, when do you get off? Our reservation only lasts till 10.” 

Before Baz can reply, _“What the fuck?”,_ Mr. Douchebag Who Can’t Take a Hint levels Simon with an unimpressed gaze and looks at Baz, “This your boyfriend?” 

_Oh, great. He’s saving me. Stupid hero complex._

Baz nods stiffly, “Yep.” 

The guy just grabs his drink and gruffly mutters a “ _Whatever.”,_ before stalking out. 

Agatha, who’d been standing there doing nothing ( _Thanks.)_ takes this opportunity to speak up, “Jesus, what was his deal?” 

Baz just shrugs as Simon rushes to the back of the line and avoids eye contact. Until, of course, he actually has to order. 

“What the hell was that?”

Simon just rolls his eyes, “You’re welcome.” 

“I didn’t need-”, Baz takes a deep intake of breath, _you’re friends remember? He was just being nice._ “Thank you, but you didn’t have to do that.” 

Simon just shrugs, face going a little pink. _Weird._ “It’s not a big deal, I’d do it for anyone.” 

_Right._

“So could I get a-” 

Baz cuts him off, nose wrinkling with faux disgust. “Black coffee, yeah I know.” 

“You know me so well.” 

He rolls his eyes, “Or, I remember the most _basic_ order in the world.” 

Simon drops his voice an octave, _okay okay okay-_ “Yeah but it’s _my_ order.” 

“Shut up.”

“Admit I’m your favorite customer.” 

Baz looks up from the spilled coffee grounds Agatha left on the counter, “Don’t you have a white horse to ride off into the sunset on or something?” 

“You know comparing me to a fairy-tale prince _really_ isn’t as insulting as you think it is.” 

“Oh really-” 

Agatha cuts him off, “Hey, Romeo. Hate to break up the foreplay but your drink’s been ready for like, ten minutes.” 

Baz makes a mental note to burn her house down later, but Simon just sighs like this is a daily occurrence and grabs his coffee, “Very funny.” 

The second he leaves, Baz rounds on his _very_ amused looking friend, “What was _that_ about?” 

Agatha just shrugs, “Someone had to say it.” 

“You did not-” 

“Get back to work, Pitch.”, Snaps a co-worker whose name Baz hadn’t quite learned yet, but apparently hated the teenage staff. 

When Mr. Grumpy Co-worker’s back is turned, Agatha rolls her eyes and gestures in a _“What can ya do?”_ sort of way. 

She never really answered his question, which was “ _Why would you even imply Simon was flirting with me?”_ Or, _“But he’s straight?”_

He just groans silently and turns back to the register. 

His questions would have to wait, then. 

\---

Football games were bright, far too amped up for how terrible the Watford team was, honestly. 

A girl with her boyfriend's jersey number on a sign and green paint smear on her face slides past Agatha, Penny, and Baz to her seat. 

Baz, who was beginning to feel terribly underdressed in his Watford sweater, turns to the girl on his right, “Should we have done the green streaks?” 

Penny shrugs, “Probably wouldn’t have done anything to help with our lack of school spirit.” 

Agatha pinches Penelope’s arm, “Hey! Enough of that. Honestly you two, it’s no wonder you never leave the library.” 

The football field is brightly lit and the bleachers surrounding it are packed to the brim with students who are rearing for the game to start. 

It makes Baz wish he’d paid more attention the last three years, wish he’d gone to a single one of these godforsaken games before just so he knew what he was supposed to say before it started. 

Agatha, on the other hand, loves spirit events, she had even been on the cheerleading squad until she decided to prioritize her academics and work at Ebb’s. 

_(Penny said even though she wasn’t technically on the team anymore, Agatha would probably still join the cheerleaders in at least one routine.)_

Baz snaps his gaze to the field when the team comes out, laser-focused on one player in particular. He’d never seen Simon play, not for lack of wanting to, but for a lack of time allotted for _that_ level of pathetic pining. but had heard from Dev and Niall that he was usually on the bench. 

It didn’t look like he was on the bench now. 

Baz watches with embarrassingly rapt attention as the team kicks off and the game starts. 

Simon is...fucking _awful_. 

He’s terrible, he fumbles every pass and practically trips across the entire field. 

It’s almost endearing. 

Okay, fine, it’s _definitely_ endearing. 

When they lose (Because of course they do) Simon runs over to the section Penny and Baz are sitting in immediately ( _Agatha, as predicted, had left to talk with her former teammates.)_ Still sweating but somehow looking stupidly attractive all the same. 

“Hey! What’d you think?”, He asks, panting a little. 

Baz and Penny exchange a look, one that says _“No, you tell him.”._ So naturally, they reply in near-perfect unison. 

“Great!” 

“I had no idea you could play like that!”, Penelope lies through her teeth, beaming. 

Simon smiles, so Baz figures the white lie was probably (Read: Definitely) worth it. 

Simon, ever perceptive, does not notice at all. “Cool. So are we still doing Twizzlers and Pepsi in Aggie’s car later?”

“Sure.” 

Twizzlers and Pepsi was a tradition Baz couldn’t begin to understand, not that he had any particular disdain for either, just how they fit together and _how_ it had become a tradition he couldn’t-

“Do you want to come?”, Simon asks, staring at Baz like he can _see_ his dumb distracted thought pattern. 

“Sure.” 

\---

  
  


Twizzlers and Pepsi, apparently, means fucking _nothing._

“So you just hang out in Agatha’s care and eat Twizzlers and drink Pepsi? That’s _it?”_

“Yes.”, Agatha replies through a mouthful of the former. 

“But _why_ is it a thing?” 

“They’re the cheapest thing to get at the 7/11? Hop off my dick about it.”, Penelope replies, still managing to be scathing half-asleep with her head on Simon’s shoulder. 

Baz raises an eyebrow, “I wasn’t-”

“Okay, fine, our dick, our _collective_ dick. Hop off. We were stupid freshmen with no money who sat behind a 7/11 and bitched about life.”, She shoots back, before promptly passing the fuck out. 

He almost asks what life they were bitching about exactly, but decides to drop it. 

Baz just shrugs, and Agatha looks back at her sleeping friend, “Shit, it’s midnight. I should probably get her back home.” 

The ride back to Penny’s is quiet, all of them still riding off the lights and excitement of a stupid high school football game, even if only one of them had been playing. Agatha switches the station to one Baz recognizes as something Ebb might play in the shop, the singer saying something about a _“Strawberry Blond.”_

“Can I ask you something?”, Simon practically whispers after they’ve dropped off Penelope and Agatha has started towards Fiona’s apartment complex. 

“Sure.”

Simon wrings his hands a little, “Who do you live with now, that your dad...you know.” 

Baz blinks, a little numb to questions about this particular topic, “Oh, my aunt. She’s been really nice about the whole thing, actually.” 

“That’s great. I mean, not that you got kicked out-” 

“I know what you mean. And yeah, it’s not bad.” 

Simon grins, but it’s not like his usual smiles, splitting his face with their mirth and brightness, it’s private. It feels shy, somehow. 

Baz honestly doesn’t know what to do with that, which is why he practically sighs with relief when Agatha pulls up to his building, saying a hasty goodbye before booking it through the door, the song still stuck in his head. 

  
  


_“All I ever wanted was a life in your shape_

_So I follow the white lines_

_Keep my eyes on the road as I ache. “_

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The twizzlers and pepsi thing is based on My Real Actual Life bc in my personal experience highschool is ALL about meaningless traditions)
> 
> (You think THIS is cliche? wait til the next chapter.)
> 
> kudos and comments are very very very appreciated pls I am starving.

**Author's Note:**

> Sick! PLEASE comment and kudos I am starving. If you comment I will Come To Your House and Kiss You On The Mouth, please. 
> 
> (thanks for reading)


End file.
